lathany

It was a busy weekend, with babysitting grannies, Swordsmaster and, of course, the twins.

On Saturday Dom and I went to visit Ruth - a friend of mine (a former work colleague) who lives in Catford. We had a large Italian meal (garlic bread, lasagne and tiramisu) with white wine and a long, long chat. We discussed Deloitte and Touche, twins, celebrating relationship anniversaries, maternity leave, work colleagues and children-and-relationships.

It raised a much-debated topic which I often find difficult to discuss with people who hold strong views. Namely the "do you want children ?" question.

The thing is, I wrestled with the Children? decision over the summer of 2000 (shortly after my 30th birthday and 5th wedding anniversary) but I never felt it was an obvious one to make. Since then, I tend to feel quite odd when people take the line "of course, you'll have children - particularly now you're married" as I nearly didn't. Equally I find the "who on earth would ever want kids" view difficult to understand.

In answer to the first one, kids are expensive, hard work and difficult to relate to. It is years and years before they are old enough to understand many of the decisions you make on their behalf and even longer before they agree with them (if ever). The country (or alternatively the world) does not have an under-population problem so, consequently, there is no requirement for more children. I have often heard it said that "once you actually hold the baby, you'll automatically love it". Not true. It works for some people - but it is in no sense universal. There are plenty of people who had the baby - then realised they made a terrible mistake.

In answer to the second one - people who want children tend to be those who like children (often choosing to work with them) and people who have the biological urge to have them (I didn't). Dom helped look after his (much younger) siblings and has consequently always been fond of children. When Bea and Ryan were in the Special Care Baby Units there was not a nurse in there who didn't have or plan to have kids of her own. Occasionally these people find the actual arrival of a baby does not measure up to their expectations - but that tends not to apply to the ones who have worked with them.

Why did I want children ? As a government statistician I worked in a number of areas including disability and infant mortality (interesting - but not recommended). Consequently I had a pretty good idea of when I needed to have kids by - if I was going to have them (to avoid disabilities and other icks). The trouble then became - did I want them ? And if I chose not to, would I want them in the future (when it would be too late). The decision - obviously made in favour of the sprogs - came by the autumn of 2000 after about four months. Of course I expected to have two children in the old fashioned "one at a time" tradition and was therefore planning on leaving some years between pregnancies. The whole "twins" thing means that I have finished with child-bearing rather earlier than I expected.

Consequently, I understand when people decide that child-bearing is not for them or equally when they have their heart set on family of six (or more). What I find difficult is dealing with people who can't see why anyone else should feel differently.

Anyway, back home from the sprog debate we discovered that in our absence Granny Jo had had a wonderful time and both Ryan and Beatrice were exhausted. Everyone was happy.

On Sunday my Athory game took place.

The party started the afternoon by setting to sea and were promptly attacked by a group of Lirrisorn (Athory sea-dwellers). However our heroes fought bravely, or at least Heleth (Liz) and Taronus (Chris Venus) did, and still made it to Carnival in time for the High Summer Dance of Masks.

The day before was spent shopping for costume in the various mask shops of which the fahionable Single Tear and mage-ran Silver Staff proved the most popular. The party, having heard of a possible assassination attempt, were particularly keen on masks which matched with armour. Lady Bryanna (Krystyna) chose an intricate purple and blue full-faced one with curls of lace, Lord Roland (Chris Fox) went for a plainer dark purple one, Taronus selected a eyes-only mask with a musical note painted on it, whilst Danaeus (Dom) wanted a harlequin effect. Heleth settled for the one she had made herself from a pole-cat (which had harassed the party in an earlier session).

The actual festival started off well, with all the party acquiring dance partners (despite the difficulties of dancing elegantly in ring and chain mail). Heleth in particular was distinguished by the attentions of Lord Haverel (or at least - he claimed to be Lord Haverel) and the day progressed well. Unfortunately, the possible assassination attempt proved only too true and Lord Roland was knifed in the leg after his friends foiled the initial attempt with a crossbow. The session left him limping back to the Court, hoping that there would not be a third assassin appearing.

After such a busy weekend, this morning started rather tamely, with the usual breakfast feeds and only a large pile of washing up acting as an (unwelcome) reminder of a good weekend.

However Beatrice decided to try something new this morning. Having watching Ryan saunter (OK - crawl) out of the playpen whenever I opened the door, she finally decided that enough was enough. She was fed up of being the stationary baby and Things Were Going To Change. Consequently, I was summoned from the kitchen (where I was watching Ryan open the car jack box) to find her half-way out of the door. Unfortunately Bea can only roll and the playpen doorway has a thick metal bar underneath it. She wasn't happy. She needed a big hug to cheer her up again. But it still counts as being her first, historic, bid for freedom.

And, finally, my photos arrived back this morning so I have a new set to add to my albums.