![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
2005 and 2016
Sep. 10th, 2016 02:28 pmI've picked this up from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
venta who gave me 2005. I've re-ordered this a bit as the twins tie in with my relationship.
Age then: 34-35, depending on when in 2005 you asked.
Age now: 46.
Relationship status then (and now): married tobateleur.
Back in 2005, we'd be married for a decade and been together for thirteen years. Our relationship in itself was very stable but, at this point, dominated by parenthood as the twins' early years were so traumatic. I rarely write anything at all about my relationship, other than factual, so it's almost odd now to look back and try and think about what it was.
I think that we had (and have) a very stable relationship and that, having survived the twins' early years, it was clearly pretty strong and likely to survive everything else. Also, we had decent communication as that was the year that we arranged to swap over the child care arrangements. Finally, we had (and have) similar interests, most notably roleplaying and pretty much the same friendship circle.
I think that it is better now than it was then. Not by a huge margin, but in small ways. It helps that the twins' lives are much more stable and that many of the things we still had to sort out back then (such as where we would live in the long term) are now sorted out. In addition, just having more living space and nicer things (eg. a computer each!) helps a lot. I think that we also are better at understanding and supporting each other. Again, not by a huge margin, but simply having found better solutions when one or other of us is having problems, is ill or wants some support (for instance, I tend to like to walk my troubles out - preferably somewhere with trees and grass - and he tends to come with me). We still have similar hobbies, but we've specialised a little more - my computer game choices andbateleur's actually have a fairly small overlap now (eg. The Witness) and we're in most of the same roleplaying games as each other, but not all. However, I do still have the same issue on Fbook as I did on LJ - that I have to be careful commenting on posts where he already has if I think more or less the same thing as there is the same danger that people feel we're ganging up (as was complained about back in the day)!
Kids then: Yes, twins (Ryan and Bea) that turned four years old just before the end of 2005.
Kids now: The same, only they're 14 now.
Back in 2005, they dominated my life as I was parent-at-home for most of it. It was the year that they both first attempted potty training and consequently it was rather full of poo and washing. However, health was still an issue. By 2005 we knew that Bea didn't have cerebral palsy, had completed her physiotherapy, and might actually have escaped any serious long-term health problems. In contrast, Ryan's problems were surfacing and he started speech therapy that year (his autism diagnosis was much later). In short, I loved them, but they were still a very, very stressful job.
Now, it is lovely. Bea has a normal teenager life and Ryan is happily settled at a school for autistic children. I can have conversations with both of them (although Bea says rather more in reply than her brother). I enjoy being with them. Yes, Ryan might never be independent, but it's by no means ruled out. It's a very different place to where I was. Also, it turns out that havingbateleur as parent-at-home suits us all much better.
Living then: Feltham (our first house).
Living now: Ashford (our current/second house).
In 2005, our house in Feltham was too small for us. We'd not planned to have two children in that house (a downside of twins) and it was a huge issue. It was better in terms of local facilities, the local shopping was good (nearby Tesco and a range of high street shops), it is a slightly faster journey as a commuter (and cheaper as it's in zone 6) and I liked the local playgroup (although that shut in 2005!). Sadly, almost no-one we knew lived close (chrestomancy and TheHattedOne were doing their year of world tour). Finally, I had never really loved the house and we hadn't planned to stay there as long as we did.
Now, I love my Ashford house - and always have. It's bigger, a better arrangement for us (lots of rooms - including separate ones for the twins) and an improvement in almost every way. My commute is longer, but I like my walk to the station better (cats, roses and windchimes). The shopping isn't as good, but this impactsbateleur more than me (and, besides, there's both a good cake shop and a good ice cream place). A number of people now live closer to us, not walking distance, but viable public transport.
Occupation then: I started out on a career break, then returned to work in October in a new post, pretending to be an economist back at the Office for National Statistics (civil service).
Occupation now: It's a joint policy advisor / statistician role for the Office of Manpower Economics (civil service).
Huge change here - I returned to work. In 2005 I really wasn't happy being at home. It comes through in almost every serious LJ entry I wrote. Yes, I got to write and I could play computer games (although usually only in playgroup time), but I felt horribly isolated from friends. Also, I never felt like a natural childcarer type, but more a bit of a fraud.
Now in 2016, I'm comfortable where I am and I get decent reports. I do have to move job soon (mostly to avoid being seen as having a career that's stuck and stale!) and things do occasionally go badly (actually, this week has been dire). But I like my colleagues and, on the whole, get a lot of satisfaction from my job. It's all a much better fit for me than parent-at-home was.
Happy then: Mostly not.
Happy now: Mostly yes!
Back in 2005, I was struggling to avoid depression (and, judging by some of my LJ entries, sometimes failing). I found being at home difficult and I wanted to move house.chrestomancy was away for most of the year and so I didn't have support from him (which I've had across most of my life). Also, I was having problems with some friends (those friendships would end the following year).
Now my days tend to be good on the whole. I've had a few stressful periods, but no actual depression for some years. One aspect of this is that I'm better at looking after myself and being aware of what might stress me, make me sad or tire me out. My career is mainly a positive thing and I love my house. The people I see the most of either in person or electronically (Writers' Triangle, WH40K, TSW and 100 Secrets) are people I enjoy spending time with. I guess that's a good point to end on.
Comment if you'd like a year of your own to consider.
venta who gave me 2005. I've re-ordered this a bit as the twins tie in with my relationship.Age then: 34-35, depending on when in 2005 you asked.
Age now: 46.
Relationship status then (and now): married to
bateleur.Back in 2005, we'd be married for a decade and been together for thirteen years. Our relationship in itself was very stable but, at this point, dominated by parenthood as the twins' early years were so traumatic. I rarely write anything at all about my relationship, other than factual, so it's almost odd now to look back and try and think about what it was.
I think that we had (and have) a very stable relationship and that, having survived the twins' early years, it was clearly pretty strong and likely to survive everything else. Also, we had decent communication as that was the year that we arranged to swap over the child care arrangements. Finally, we had (and have) similar interests, most notably roleplaying and pretty much the same friendship circle.
I think that it is better now than it was then. Not by a huge margin, but in small ways. It helps that the twins' lives are much more stable and that many of the things we still had to sort out back then (such as where we would live in the long term) are now sorted out. In addition, just having more living space and nicer things (eg. a computer each!) helps a lot. I think that we also are better at understanding and supporting each other. Again, not by a huge margin, but simply having found better solutions when one or other of us is having problems, is ill or wants some support (for instance, I tend to like to walk my troubles out - preferably somewhere with trees and grass - and he tends to come with me). We still have similar hobbies, but we've specialised a little more - my computer game choices and
bateleur's actually have a fairly small overlap now (eg. The Witness) and we're in most of the same roleplaying games as each other, but not all. However, I do still have the same issue on Fbook as I did on LJ - that I have to be careful commenting on posts where he already has if I think more or less the same thing as there is the same danger that people feel we're ganging up (as was complained about back in the day)!Kids then: Yes, twins (Ryan and Bea) that turned four years old just before the end of 2005.
Kids now: The same, only they're 14 now.
Back in 2005, they dominated my life as I was parent-at-home for most of it. It was the year that they both first attempted potty training and consequently it was rather full of poo and washing. However, health was still an issue. By 2005 we knew that Bea didn't have cerebral palsy, had completed her physiotherapy, and might actually have escaped any serious long-term health problems. In contrast, Ryan's problems were surfacing and he started speech therapy that year (his autism diagnosis was much later). In short, I loved them, but they were still a very, very stressful job.
Now, it is lovely. Bea has a normal teenager life and Ryan is happily settled at a school for autistic children. I can have conversations with both of them (although Bea says rather more in reply than her brother). I enjoy being with them. Yes, Ryan might never be independent, but it's by no means ruled out. It's a very different place to where I was. Also, it turns out that having
bateleur as parent-at-home suits us all much better.Living then: Feltham (our first house).
Living now: Ashford (our current/second house).
In 2005, our house in Feltham was too small for us. We'd not planned to have two children in that house (a downside of twins) and it was a huge issue. It was better in terms of local facilities, the local shopping was good (nearby Tesco and a range of high street shops), it is a slightly faster journey as a commuter (and cheaper as it's in zone 6) and I liked the local playgroup (although that shut in 2005!). Sadly, almost no-one we knew lived close (
chrestomancy and TheHattedOne were doing their year of world tour). Finally, I had never really loved the house and we hadn't planned to stay there as long as we did.Now, I love my Ashford house - and always have. It's bigger, a better arrangement for us (lots of rooms - including separate ones for the twins) and an improvement in almost every way. My commute is longer, but I like my walk to the station better (cats, roses and windchimes). The shopping isn't as good, but this impacts
bateleur more than me (and, besides, there's both a good cake shop and a good ice cream place). A number of people now live closer to us, not walking distance, but viable public transport.Occupation then: I started out on a career break, then returned to work in October in a new post, pretending to be an economist back at the Office for National Statistics (civil service).
Occupation now: It's a joint policy advisor / statistician role for the Office of Manpower Economics (civil service).
Huge change here - I returned to work. In 2005 I really wasn't happy being at home. It comes through in almost every serious LJ entry I wrote. Yes, I got to write and I could play computer games (although usually only in playgroup time), but I felt horribly isolated from friends. Also, I never felt like a natural childcarer type, but more a bit of a fraud.
Now in 2016, I'm comfortable where I am and I get decent reports. I do have to move job soon (mostly to avoid being seen as having a career that's stuck and stale!) and things do occasionally go badly (actually, this week has been dire). But I like my colleagues and, on the whole, get a lot of satisfaction from my job. It's all a much better fit for me than parent-at-home was.
Happy then: Mostly not.
Happy now: Mostly yes!
Back in 2005, I was struggling to avoid depression (and, judging by some of my LJ entries, sometimes failing). I found being at home difficult and I wanted to move house.
chrestomancy was away for most of the year and so I didn't have support from him (which I've had across most of my life). Also, I was having problems with some friends (those friendships would end the following year).Now my days tend to be good on the whole. I've had a few stressful periods, but no actual depression for some years. One aspect of this is that I'm better at looking after myself and being aware of what might stress me, make me sad or tire me out. My career is mainly a positive thing and I love my house. The people I see the most of either in person or electronically (Writers' Triangle, WH40K, TSW and 100 Secrets) are people I enjoy spending time with. I guess that's a good point to end on.
Comment if you'd like a year of your own to consider.
Having done the book sheep, I thought I would do a computer games one.
Here we are: ten computer games that have stayed with me in some way. I took a few minutes, and didn't think too hard -- they aren't necessarily the "right" or "great" works, just the ones that have touched me.
1. Final Fantasy VII. I first met it as a copy borrowed fromzandev that I played on holiday in the Lake District. I become complete addicted to it, bought my own and played and re-played it. I loved so much about it - the parallels between Aeris and Sephiroth, the various cut scenes, Seto, the dates (except Barrett) and pretty much everything in it.
2. The Last Crown. Another all time favourite. I relished the atmosphere, the ghost hunts and the occasional bits of humour.
3. The Hobbit. I never completed this, but it was the first big game we owned on the ZX Spectrum. These days I might not have the patience, but back in the day it was wonderful.
4. Doom. One of the few FPS games that I've played. One of the fewer that I've become hooked on and finished.
5. Dozer. I never finished Dozer, although I did get a long way through it. It was the first game I played where I knew the games designer. Also, it's one of the few with really good puzzles.
6. Worms. The version on the Amiga - small, pink, different... as the tag line went. Grenades, Bazookas and the endless fun of naming teams.
7. Pathologic. I also loved The Void, but I think Pathologic was my bigger obsession. A game about a vicious plague and I adored it. Morbid, weird and with a suited rat singing down a well.
8. Master of Magic. Also known as the Fort Jackson game. This has different music depending on whether you were first, second, third or fourth at that point in the game (in the computer's estimation). You could play all different types of wizards based on the spellbooks you chose. Although it was difficult not to chose all the life for Incarnation and summon Torin the Chosen. I beat this game once on the hardest difficulty and finally stopped after that.
9. Twisted Metal: World Tour.bateleur and I played endless hours of this. I think I completed every character except Sweettooth. I particularly liked Grasshopper for the idea and the ending (although a mistake to use the special on New York). It was an awesome two-player game.
10. Baldur's Gate 2. Loved the story, played it endlessly over and over. Liked the romances. I enjoyed Dragon Age too, but BG2 was my first and made a greater impression. I still have the map on my wall.
Honourable mention to Valkyria Chronicles for the tank, Lemmings for "Wets go!", Disruptor for the B movie and varied missions, Little Big Planet for excellent team-up play and Stephen Fry, Diablos for Wednesdays, Portal for the puzzles and the black humour and Monkey Island for the staple remover.
Here we are: ten computer games that have stayed with me in some way. I took a few minutes, and didn't think too hard -- they aren't necessarily the "right" or "great" works, just the ones that have touched me.
1. Final Fantasy VII. I first met it as a copy borrowed from
zandev that I played on holiday in the Lake District. I become complete addicted to it, bought my own and played and re-played it. I loved so much about it - the parallels between Aeris and Sephiroth, the various cut scenes, Seto, the dates (except Barrett) and pretty much everything in it.2. The Last Crown. Another all time favourite. I relished the atmosphere, the ghost hunts and the occasional bits of humour.
3. The Hobbit. I never completed this, but it was the first big game we owned on the ZX Spectrum. These days I might not have the patience, but back in the day it was wonderful.
4. Doom. One of the few FPS games that I've played. One of the fewer that I've become hooked on and finished.
5. Dozer. I never finished Dozer, although I did get a long way through it. It was the first game I played where I knew the games designer. Also, it's one of the few with really good puzzles.
6. Worms. The version on the Amiga - small, pink, different... as the tag line went. Grenades, Bazookas and the endless fun of naming teams.
7. Pathologic. I also loved The Void, but I think Pathologic was my bigger obsession. A game about a vicious plague and I adored it. Morbid, weird and with a suited rat singing down a well.
8. Master of Magic. Also known as the Fort Jackson game. This has different music depending on whether you were first, second, third or fourth at that point in the game (in the computer's estimation). You could play all different types of wizards based on the spellbooks you chose. Although it was difficult not to chose all the life for Incarnation and summon Torin the Chosen. I beat this game once on the hardest difficulty and finally stopped after that.
9. Twisted Metal: World Tour.
bateleur and I played endless hours of this. I think I completed every character except Sweettooth. I particularly liked Grasshopper for the idea and the ending (although a mistake to use the special on New York). It was an awesome two-player game.10. Baldur's Gate 2. Loved the story, played it endlessly over and over. Liked the romances. I enjoyed Dragon Age too, but BG2 was my first and made a greater impression. I still have the map on my wall.
Honourable mention to Valkyria Chronicles for the tank, Lemmings for "Wets go!", Disruptor for the B movie and varied missions, Little Big Planet for excellent team-up play and Stephen Fry, Diablos for Wednesdays, Portal for the puzzles and the black humour and Monkey Island for the staple remover.
Nicked from borusa.
"In your LJ post, list 10 books that have stayed with you in some way. Don't take but a few minutes, and don't think too hard -- they don't have to be the "right" or "great" works, just the ones that have touched you."
1. Power of Three - Diana Wynne Jones. I am a huge fan of DWJ and almost every DWJ book is special to me, but this one is my favourite. It was a book I read and re-read all the way through secondary school and I just loved it and was (and am) very fond of the central character Gair and the friends he made.
2. Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien. Well, yes. I met it early enough that it was my first epic fantasy adult fiction. Enough said.
3. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen. I had terrible trouble reading this at first, but I really wanted to like it because I have caught the 1980 TV series and fell in love with it. I didn't understand it, mind, or not all the subtlety, but I then wanted to love the book. Perseverance paid off.
4. Paladin of Souls - Lois McMaster Bujold. Tricky to pick my favourite of hers (Memory, Diplomatic Immunity and Curse of Chalion are all runners) but I think Paladin has it because of Ista. The central character has a wonderful take on the world from having spent much of her life being thought mad.
5. Sparkling Cyanide - Agatha Christie. This is my favourite Christie because of its structure - the six suspects at the start and because it makes sense when you put it together. Again, it helped that I saw the TV movie first.
6. Space Hostages - Nicholas Fisk. This went on a two-week holiday when I was about twelve and I read it and re-read it. It's got the kids in charge theme and also a lot about bullies. And I love the ending.
7. The Art of Murder - Jose Carlos Somoza. This was a blind pick I made for a bookclub on the basis that I liked the author's previous book (The Athenian Murders); it was a lucky gamble. This book has some real horror in it, but the world of humans-as-art worked so well and I liked the series of murders and how it was solved.
8. King of Shadows - Susan Cooper. A close second is The Dark is Rising but I find King more emotional and engrossing. It helps that I like A Midsummer Night's Dream and I cry every time I read it.
9. The Colour Purple - Alice Walker. This was a book I met for the first time through my Open University degree and fell in love with it. I like Celie a lot and just some of the phrases. One of them goes something like "I never met God in a church, just a bunch of folks hanging around, kinda hoping he'd show." In contrast with much of my list, I loathed the film and thought it was sickly and completely out of character with the book.
10. The Ice King - Michael Scott Rohan. I can see a lot of flaws in this book these days. The middle aged guy who has every attractive young woman in the book (OK, two) throwing themselves at him. The "split the party" theme. But, at the end of the day, it's still got Viking gods and atmosphere. Plus it made excellent background to a couple of roleplaying games.
Honourable mention to Enid Blyton who sent me looking for caves as a child, Prachett because he was Xmas every year, Brookmyre for video game fans made fiction heroes, L M Montgommery for sweet but witty, CS Lewis for everything but the moralising and Dan Abnett who hooked me on WH40K.
borusa."In your LJ post, list 10 books that have stayed with you in some way. Don't take but a few minutes, and don't think too hard -- they don't have to be the "right" or "great" works, just the ones that have touched you."
1. Power of Three - Diana Wynne Jones. I am a huge fan of DWJ and almost every DWJ book is special to me, but this one is my favourite. It was a book I read and re-read all the way through secondary school and I just loved it and was (and am) very fond of the central character Gair and the friends he made.
2. Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien. Well, yes. I met it early enough that it was my first epic fantasy adult fiction. Enough said.
3. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen. I had terrible trouble reading this at first, but I really wanted to like it because I have caught the 1980 TV series and fell in love with it. I didn't understand it, mind, or not all the subtlety, but I then wanted to love the book. Perseverance paid off.
4. Paladin of Souls - Lois McMaster Bujold. Tricky to pick my favourite of hers (Memory, Diplomatic Immunity and Curse of Chalion are all runners) but I think Paladin has it because of Ista. The central character has a wonderful take on the world from having spent much of her life being thought mad.
5. Sparkling Cyanide - Agatha Christie. This is my favourite Christie because of its structure - the six suspects at the start and because it makes sense when you put it together. Again, it helped that I saw the TV movie first.
6. Space Hostages - Nicholas Fisk. This went on a two-week holiday when I was about twelve and I read it and re-read it. It's got the kids in charge theme and also a lot about bullies. And I love the ending.
7. The Art of Murder - Jose Carlos Somoza. This was a blind pick I made for a bookclub on the basis that I liked the author's previous book (The Athenian Murders); it was a lucky gamble. This book has some real horror in it, but the world of humans-as-art worked so well and I liked the series of murders and how it was solved.
8. King of Shadows - Susan Cooper. A close second is The Dark is Rising but I find King more emotional and engrossing. It helps that I like A Midsummer Night's Dream and I cry every time I read it.
9. The Colour Purple - Alice Walker. This was a book I met for the first time through my Open University degree and fell in love with it. I like Celie a lot and just some of the phrases. One of them goes something like "I never met God in a church, just a bunch of folks hanging around, kinda hoping he'd show." In contrast with much of my list, I loathed the film and thought it was sickly and completely out of character with the book.
10. The Ice King - Michael Scott Rohan. I can see a lot of flaws in this book these days. The middle aged guy who has every attractive young woman in the book (OK, two) throwing themselves at him. The "split the party" theme. But, at the end of the day, it's still got Viking gods and atmosphere. Plus it made excellent background to a couple of roleplaying games.
Honourable mention to Enid Blyton who sent me looking for caves as a child, Prachett because he was Xmas every year, Brookmyre for video game fans made fiction heroes, L M Montgommery for sweet but witty, CS Lewis for everything but the moralising and Dan Abnett who hooked me on WH40K.
Quote for the week
Dec. 29th, 2011 12:08 pm"Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused." - King Charles I
Not exactly Xmassy!
Not exactly Xmassy!
Quote for the week
Nov. 16th, 2011 08:36 am"Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye." Helen Keller
I'd not heard of Helen Keller before, but looking her up now - I'm very impressed. And the quote's pretty good too.
I'd not heard of Helen Keller before, but looking her up now - I'm very impressed. And the quote's pretty good too.
Quote for the week
Oct. 31st, 2011 09:21 pm"Moderation in all things." - Terence.
My first reaction was... who? Wikiquote tells me he's a comic playwright of the Roman Republic.
My first reaction was... who? Wikiquote tells me he's a comic playwright of the Roman Republic.
Quote for the week
Sep. 26th, 2011 06:33 pm"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl." Charlie Chaplin.
Sadly I know nothing about the context that this quote comes from (and I've wary after that Henry V one...)
Sadly I know nothing about the context that this quote comes from (and I've wary after that Henry V one...)
