Is this Career Break thing working ?
Jul. 2nd, 2003 04:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lathanyWell, it's now just over nineteen months since I suddenly took maternity leave. And coming up for fifteen months since I was last paid a salary.
I'm not talking about the "having a baby" decision, I mean the career break thing - deciding to look after the twins myself.
At first the idea had been to go back to work when my unpaid maternity leave ran out (roughly a year after birth) and to find a childminder. This became rather less appealing when I had that fateful scan which determined that my bump was a double helping.
To start with, paying for two lots of care is expensive. My salary more than covered it, but, it would mean I was effectively working for a lot less money whilst having all the additional expenses that two kids bring.
Then there was the little matter about this being it. I only wanted two children and I wouldn't be doing the pregnancy thing again (and I made this decision before the horrors of labour...) and this was my one and only chance to take time off to spend with the children.
There was also the possibility of using the career break to try out book writing. I had been working on Mourns's Gift on and off for roughly five years. When I became pregnant I was roughly fifty thousand words in (half way) and I wanted to finish it.
On the other hand, the idea of living on just![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bateleur's salary didn't appeal. Particularly given that the "larger house" was still in the dream stage and a long way off becoming a reality.
So I left the decision, because I could. Then the twins arrived three months early and, after her early scare, Bea needed lots of extra care. Hundreds (or so it seemed) of appointments with the eye clinic, hearing clinic, children's health department plus all the usual baby clinic weighings and vaccination visits.
I don't recall a point where I actually made the decision to stay home (although my memory is a bit hazy over those first few months). But mid-summer I wrote to personnel and they agreed to grant me a career break (finishing in November 2006). At which point I became stationed in Feltham, not close to either friends or relatives, not particularly near any good shops (except Tesco) and with a couple of sprogs.
Initially, it was a struggle just to come to terms with all the things a new mother is "supposed to" do. Plus I found the entire lack of freedom/lack of mobility thing very depressing on occasion. But at least I finished Mourn's Gift and living onbateleur's salary didn't involve making sacrifices to our lifestyle (we never really got used to two salaries I guess).
And our friends have been great. Two groups of roleplayers have coped not only with having to travel to Feltham for sessions, but also with a couple of lively twins (and, in a couple of cases, with a cat allergy). They got screamed at, dribbled on, covered in crumbs and goodness knows what else. Plus other people have been really good at coming to see us (knowing we aren't terribly mobile these days).
The writing has also been a big plus. I started my second book at the end of January. I was going fairly slowly up until mid April, then stopped completely to work on my BadgerCon games. However since I go back from the Lake District I've been managing just under four thousand words a week which I reckon is pretty good. Also, even if I never get published, I personally feel happy just to be writing what I'm writing.
For the twins I feel it's been a bit mixed. On the one hand, they seem happy enough. On the other, I just don't seem to do as much as other parents do. I have this guilty notion that they'll reach sixteen and I'll still be putting them into the playpen and mashing banana for their tea. I have to keep reminding myself that I should be expanding their activities/diet/clothes sizes a bit more.
And, definitely on the minus side, I'm even keener to move into a bigger house. It feels like we're bursting at the seams as it is and the twins stuff is expanding, albeit at a slow rate. I keep hoping that FastRam will suddenly make a huge pot of money to make it all possible.
However, on balance, I think I made the right decision. And I must have another sort through my junk to see if I can free up any more space...
In other news, it seems that all our local Tescos sell different things. Chocolate pots (or perhaps I should say the label on the shelf because there is still no sign of them) can only be purchased in our localist store. However that has lost the Finest White Chocolate Mousses - but they can now be found in the little store next to the railway station. Whereas the large Tesco whichbateleur drives past every work day is the only one of the three to sell sweet champagne.
Weird.
I'm not talking about the "having a baby" decision, I mean the career break thing - deciding to look after the twins myself.
At first the idea had been to go back to work when my unpaid maternity leave ran out (roughly a year after birth) and to find a childminder. This became rather less appealing when I had that fateful scan which determined that my bump was a double helping.
To start with, paying for two lots of care is expensive. My salary more than covered it, but, it would mean I was effectively working for a lot less money whilst having all the additional expenses that two kids bring.
Then there was the little matter about this being it. I only wanted two children and I wouldn't be doing the pregnancy thing again (and I made this decision before the horrors of labour...) and this was my one and only chance to take time off to spend with the children.
There was also the possibility of using the career break to try out book writing. I had been working on Mourns's Gift on and off for roughly five years. When I became pregnant I was roughly fifty thousand words in (half way) and I wanted to finish it.
On the other hand, the idea of living on just
bateleur's salary didn't appeal. Particularly given that the "larger house" was still in the dream stage and a long way off becoming a reality.So I left the decision, because I could. Then the twins arrived three months early and, after her early scare, Bea needed lots of extra care. Hundreds (or so it seemed) of appointments with the eye clinic, hearing clinic, children's health department plus all the usual baby clinic weighings and vaccination visits.
I don't recall a point where I actually made the decision to stay home (although my memory is a bit hazy over those first few months). But mid-summer I wrote to personnel and they agreed to grant me a career break (finishing in November 2006). At which point I became stationed in Feltham, not close to either friends or relatives, not particularly near any good shops (except Tesco) and with a couple of sprogs.
Initially, it was a struggle just to come to terms with all the things a new mother is "supposed to" do. Plus I found the entire lack of freedom/lack of mobility thing very depressing on occasion. But at least I finished Mourn's Gift and living on
bateleur's salary didn't involve making sacrifices to our lifestyle (we never really got used to two salaries I guess).And our friends have been great. Two groups of roleplayers have coped not only with having to travel to Feltham for sessions, but also with a couple of lively twins (and, in a couple of cases, with a cat allergy). They got screamed at, dribbled on, covered in crumbs and goodness knows what else. Plus other people have been really good at coming to see us (knowing we aren't terribly mobile these days).
The writing has also been a big plus. I started my second book at the end of January. I was going fairly slowly up until mid April, then stopped completely to work on my BadgerCon games. However since I go back from the Lake District I've been managing just under four thousand words a week which I reckon is pretty good. Also, even if I never get published, I personally feel happy just to be writing what I'm writing.
For the twins I feel it's been a bit mixed. On the one hand, they seem happy enough. On the other, I just don't seem to do as much as other parents do. I have this guilty notion that they'll reach sixteen and I'll still be putting them into the playpen and mashing banana for their tea. I have to keep reminding myself that I should be expanding their activities/diet/clothes sizes a bit more.
And, definitely on the minus side, I'm even keener to move into a bigger house. It feels like we're bursting at the seams as it is and the twins stuff is expanding, albeit at a slow rate. I keep hoping that FastRam will suddenly make a huge pot of money to make it all possible.
However, on balance, I think I made the right decision. And I must have another sort through my junk to see if I can free up any more space...
In other news, it seems that all our local Tescos sell different things. Chocolate pots (or perhaps I should say the label on the shelf because there is still no sign of them) can only be purchased in our localist store. However that has lost the Finest White Chocolate Mousses - but they can now be found in the little store next to the railway station. Whereas the large Tesco which
bateleur drives past every work day is the only one of the three to sell sweet champagne.Weird.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-03 01:22 am (UTC)With local mooses!
For local people!
Daft Bugger....
Date: 2003-07-05 09:29 am (UTC)Newsflash!! [Unknown site tag] in Not Doing Enough Shocker!!!
As a non-parent who has listened to many new parents, I'd like to introduce you to the concept of the Other Parents. These people are 100% loving caring individuals who are devoted to their offspring 24/7, and are all-encompassing at all times. Their children never cry, never pee on the sofa/the cat/Auntie Elsie, can read at 2 and a half, play the violin at 9 months and are professional antique dealers by the age of 6.
THE OTHER PARENTS DON'T EXIST!! Anyone you think is doing a better job than you, is in fact putting on a brave face, pulling their hair out in private, and essentially thinking the same thing about you .
I'm not saying this cos you're my friend, I'm saying it cos you and
Got that?